


You and I

by punkrockbadger



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Character of Color, Bisexual Female Character, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-27
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:58:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3625737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkrockbadger/pseuds/punkrockbadger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Hum Tum AU] James Potter, a successful comic book artist and sort of former med student, has figured out most things in his life. Except, of course, why he keeps on meeting Lily Evans. Stories like theirs don't end badly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You and I

_[Meeting One]_

“Please, Amma, I’m going to be fine.” James sighs, even as his mother straightens the collar of his shirt, which he’s buttoned all wrong. He’s twenty-two now, and solidly far too old for what his mother is pulling. She’s almost in tears.

No wonder his father stayed back in the car.

His mother is panicking as if he’s leaving them forever, even though he’s just going off to grad school. He should have taken Sirius’ advice and moved far away at the first opportunity, but who’s going to damn him for being a little sentimental (and afraid of leaving a constant source of good food) at eighteen? “It’s just a plane. I’ll call you in six hours. It’s all going to be good.”

“My baby is leaving his mother for the first time and you’re telling me how to act?” His mother huffs, putting her hands on her hips. James is nearly a foot taller than his mother now, but he still cringes like the scrawny little kid he used to be when she looks at him like that. Pointing out that he’s not little anymore will only provoke a fresh round of tears, and he’s honestly not ready for that right now. Any more and he might start crying too. “Brush your teeth every night, shower daily, and make sure to wash the rice cooker out after you use it. Put the Ganesha and Saraswati pictures on your desk as soon as you get there.”

By this point, James isn’t listening. He’s heard this talk at least thirteen times a day for the last week, usually accompanied by loud exclamations of annoyance and melodramatic sighs when she realized he’d tuned out, but he knows it’s for the best. Hell, he hardly remembers to put socks on sometimes.

“Amma, I’m twenty-two. I can do these things just fine.” James wipes her tears away with his thumb before shouldering his backpack and checking that the handle of his carryon won’t come off. “I’ll be late if I wait any longer.”

“Call me daily.” She says, reaching up to smooth down his hair, and he cracks a smile as he bends over enough for her to reach. She’s always hated the way his hair sticks up everywhere, but it’s an age old battle with a set conclusion. At this point, it’s just routine. “None of what Sirius does. Actually talk to me.”

“Of course.” He nods, smile widening. “You’ll hear about everything I do. I promise.”

He hears a laugh from behind him and notices a redhead in some kind of yellow sundress giggling at him from a few feet away. He rubs at his forehead self-consciously as he straightens back up, wondering if the vibuthi his father had put on his forehead is still there, and strides over to airport security, pausing once to wave at his mother. By the time he gets himself settled in line and turns to see if she’s still there, she’s left. Just as well, really, because he’s already rubbing the sleeve of his shirt against his eyes like he’s trying to erase his face.

Good thing he brought his sketchbook, he thought, grabbing a pencil from his shirt pocket, because this was probably going to take a while.

\---

Lily knows this is going to be horrible because Petunia’s shown up, it’s just a matter of how long it takes before it goes to hell.

She’s not very sure how they lasted an entire childhood together if they’re incapable of spending five minutes in each other’s presence without wanting to roast each other on spits as adults, but Petunia is here because their mother is. She’d like to think otherwise, would like to believe the best of her sister, but they haven’t been close enough for Lily to believe better in years.

“Mum, I’m only going away for a few months. I’ll be back home before you know it!” Lily smiled, trying to convince herself as much as everyone else, and her mother nodded tearfully. They’d cleared out parts of Lily’s old room together over the last week, and there hadn’t been a second of it that went anything less than horrifyingly sadly. “You don’t need to be sad.”

“It’s a mother’s right to worry.” Her mother said, clutching at one of her father’s weird, old handkerchiefs, and Lily shrugs, looking around the airport. At least she’s not the kid whose mother is having to help him get his suitcase off his trolley or, god forbid, the tall boy in the corner whose mother is trying to smooth his hair down. He’s bent halfway over to let her at his head, and she stifles a giggle as she watches the exchange.

He looks back at her a second later and she rolls her eyes before turning back to her own family.

“See, Mum?” She says, a little louder than she intended. “You could be that bad, and then I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Get going, Lily.” Her mother says, nudging her, and there is only enough time for an awkward attempt at a handshake with Petunia before Lily is running for airport security.

\---

James inches his way down the aisle, surrounded on all sides by far too many people, and check the passing row numbers against his ticket. Fourteen, fifteen-- sixteen. Right. He looks up, hoping to say hello to whoever is in 16B, and comes face to face with the redhead from the terminal. He should have known.

“I’ve got the window”, he says, and she shrugs, standing up so he can awkwardly slide past her and into his own seat. She buckles herself back in the minute she is free to sit back down and returns to the magazine she was reading before he’d interrupted her. A books person. He doesn’t like those. Well, he likes Remus, but Remus has other interests in common with James, so it’s excusable.

“So”, he says, too many hours later. He’s long since passed the point where he has to get up and walk, to rid himself of some of the weird feeling that thrums in his veins when he’s been still for too long, but he doesn’t feel like going through the trouble of unbuckling and buckling his seatbelt. “We’ve been here about a billion hours, and I still don’t know your name.”

“Maybe that’s because you don’t need to know my name.” She replies, without even looking up from the book she’d switched for the magazine twenty-five minutes earlier (he hasn’t been counting, he promises).

“Is that a challenge?” He asks, leaning back in the guise of stretching, and catches a glimpse of a name scrawled on her sweatshirt’s tag in black Sharpie. He was right about her, and luckily so. “Miss… Lily Evans?”

“How the hell did you know that?” She shuts the book, index finger marking her page, and stares him down.

“Your tag’s out.” He grins before sticking his hand out. “James Potter. Nice to meet you”

She mumbles something, and he catches a few curse words before she reaches back with her free hand to tuck the tag back in. She doesn’t shake his hand, though, and he pulls it back after a few minutes.

“Fine”, he says, sighing theatrically. “Stories like these never end badly, you know.”

“But they can end in silence.” Lily says, offering him a strained curve of her lips that might have been a smile on anyone else, and turns back to her books.

An hour later, the plane touches down, and they go their separate ways, fully intending to never see each other again.

Life, as usual, had other plans.

* * *

_[Meeting Two]_

James has never liked to advertise himself as the type of guy who liked long walks in the park, but here he is, alone on a Saturday morning, acting like a sixty year old.

The parks here are much busier than the ones back home, though, and he nearly bumps into someone every few minutes. His apologies are old and stale by the fifth person, but the sixth, thankfully for her, needs a little more of an apology, because she is the one who bumps into him. Bumps into him is putting it very, very lightly, because she literally runs him over with her bike. James goes down hard when the bike bumps into him, left elbow hitting the concrete at an awkward angle, and hisses loudly at the pain.

“Sorry!” She exclaims, surprised, and helps him back up, before frowning in surprise as she recognizes him. He doesn’t recognize her until she’s frowning.

“Lily! Hey!” He says, brushing himself off. “How’ve you been?”

“Better.” She admits, grudgingly. “Not my best morning.”

“Not mine either.” He snorts. “I don’t get run over by pretty ladies too often, despite the image I like to maintain.”

“Too bad.” Lily says dryly, fixing him with a stare that would probably have Sirius pissing himself. James has higher standards of bladder control, thankfully, and only manages a weak grimace in response. “We’d be better off.”

“If you're going to bang, take it off the sidewalks!” One of the teenage boys loitering by the water fountain yells, and James is not at all prepared for how quickly Lily turns on the heckler. He’s more surprised than anything, really, and does nothing but awkwardly twiddle his thumbs while Lily launches into a tirade that would probably shake the heavens.

“We’re not-- We’re not anything like that! You’re clearly in the wrong here, because you’re making ridiculously lewd assumptions about people you don’t even know!” She practically growls, and James puts a hand on her shoulder to pull her back before she runs over a second person today. His hand is roughly slapped away, and he gets the feeling that he should start running. And fast. But, as James does with most of his feelings, he ignores it. Good thing, because she’s grabbed the kid by the collar of his shitty graphic tee. “We’re in public, mister, so act like it.”

“Jesus, lady, calm down.” The boy sneers, and she lets him go so quickly that he stumbles back, falling flat on his butt in the grass. Lily laughs, expression darkening when she looks to James.

“See, this is your fault--” She begins, and James is out of there.

* * *

_[Meeting Three]_

“Sirius, I’m pretty sure you’re seeing someone.” James grumbles as he pulls his already knotted tie over his head. Sirius had picked out their outfits the night before while James played wastebasket basketball with the paper wrappings of their sandwiches, and he honestly only remembers snatches of it. Something about complementary colors and pizzazz. Of course, thanks to both of their impeccable timing, they are finishing getting dressed in the car, right outside the venue. “Why do I need to be your plus one? And to a wedding, no less.”

“Well, I’ve only got one you, James.” Sirius shrugs. “Sue me if I don’t want to bring my partners everywhere.”

“Keep talking like that and I might.” James finally manages to tighten the tie. “Right, so this is a what now?”

“We’re practicing for the actual wedding. And, as a groomsman, I have to go. Am I still a groomsman if there’s no groom?” Sirius sighs, shaking his head. “Regardless, I have to be there twice. If the goal is to put me off marriage, I think they’ve achieved it.”

“If you think two four hour sessions is exhausting, remind me not to invite you when I finally get married off.” James snorts. “You’d be crying even without having to meet my family.”

“Solve the problem for us then, bro.” Sirius slaps James’ back as they race up to where the rest of the people are slowly assembling. He sees Sirius friends, the ones who are getting married, laughing together at the front, and can’t help but stare in shock when he recognizes Marlene’s girlfriend.

“Holy hell.” He laughs, even as she turns around. “Lily Evans.”

She turns at the sound of her name, and seems equally surprised to see him. “James Potter.”

“Oh, so you two already know each other?” Sirius grins. “Brilliant! I thought I’d have to introduce you, and little Jamie here’s not the best with first impressions.”

“No, he’s not.” Lily smirks, shaking her head, and James shakes his head, putting his hands up. “Begging for mercy, Potter?”

“Only from you, Evans.” He winks. “Only from you.”

“Hey, Potter, she’s going to marry me tomorrow!” Marlene calls out. “Hands off!”

“I put a hand on her once and she almost ate me alive!” James yells back. “I think I’m good!”

“It’s been three years and that’s what you remember about me?” Lily looks almost amused, and James shrugs. It was a particularly strong note to leave any conversation on, but he gets the feeling that saying that will get him killed, given over to Marlene for punishment, or both.

“I’m an artist. Remembering’s what I do.” James grins, and he can see Lily relax a little as he launches into the same, practiced speech about the newest comic he’s working on. She laughs where he leaves space for it and asks questions about characters and development and dialogue that he’s never considered before. He tells the story of how he started out selling art on the internet to try and help his parents out with med school costs, and how he’s actually graduating on time at the end of this coming school year despite art taking up a larger chunk of his time now.

It’s nice. Talking like this feels natural in a way their other interactions haven’t, like it’s genuinely them this time.

Lily is eventually pulled away from him by a multitude of other people, and James spends much of the night talking to Lily’s mother, who feels just as odd being here as he does. She’s got more of a claim to it than he does, though, since Lily is her daughter and he’s really nothing to her, if he thinks about it.

It’s why he doesn’t think about it. He keeps muddling through life, kisses anyone who will have him, and stuffs the deepest longings of his heart down into the rubbish bin with last week’s banana peels.

The only long-term problem with that plan, he realizes, as he watches Lily Evans pledge herself to Marlene forever and ever the next day, is that he’s totally in love with her and she’s now permanently unavailable.

“Hey, Marls, keep all the naked pictures off the Internet!” James yells after his friend and her wife. He’s not sure which Lily is, the friend or the wife, and he thinks he’ll leave it that way. The less thinking he does, the better.

“Will do, Potty.” Marlene yells back, and James turns his back on them, loosening the tie around his neck before blending into the crowd.

He needs a drink.

* * *

_[Meeting Four]_

James has his sketchbook open and balanced on his knees, chewing on the end of the pen he’s got halfway in his mouth, while he watches the scenery speed by outside the train window. He’s been lost for inspiration, especially since he’d somehow gotten popular over the last year. Now they want a love story out of him, something grandiose and beautiful and full of tension. But he hasn’t had that yet, and he draws his experiences.

It’s why the comic is about Lily.

He sketches himself out in pieces, smiling as the tiny version of himself seems to spring forward out of the page, and adds Sirius’ leather jacket and scuffed up combat boots to round out the image. The James in the comics, who he’d named I on a whim, is a little wilder than him, a little braver, but that’s alright. It isn’t supposed to be exactly him.

Just like how You, the redheaded girl with bright green eyes and pink Hello Kitty bandaids on her knuckles isn’t supposed to be exactly Lily.

“Shit--” The person in the seat in front of him hisses, and James looks up at the sound of a familiar voice. He hasn’t seen her in years, not since the wedding, and maybe it isn’t her, but maybe it is. He stands up, closing his book and tucking it under his arm, before walking out into the aisle. On the off chance that it is Lily, he should say hi. It’s been years. He’s over her. Right?

He catches sight of familiar red hair and his breath catches in his chest. Nope. Most definitely not over her.

Goddamn.

The seat next to her is empty, but she’s currently trying to mop up the coffee she’s spilled all over herself, so he waits for her to sort out things before speaking up. “Mind if I take the seat?”

“It’s empty.” She shrugs, before looking up. “James Potter. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I wish I was kidding.” James sighs, sliding into the free seat. “How’ve you been?”

“Same job, new place.” Lily shrugs. “I haven’t done much interesting since you’ve seen me last.”

“Well, the last time I saw you, you’d done something incredibly interesting, so it’s understandable that you couldn’t top it.” James shrugs, missing the way Lily’s expression darkens.

“What’ve you been doing lately?” She asks, as if looking for a subject change. “I’ve seen your comic in the papers.”

“The publishers want a book.” James beams pridefully, feeling more like a proud father than anything else. “Problem is,  they want a love story for the two of them. I don’t really have one of those to go off of, so I’ve got some researching to do.”

“A love story shouldn’t be too hard to find, for you.” She cracks a small smile. “You’re not the worst option out there.”

“Your positive outlook on my love life is noted and well appreciated.” He says, as the stop is announced, and she stands up, grabbing her purse. “Where are you going?”

“This is my stop.” She slips past him. “I won’t even bother saying bye, seeing as I’m going to run into you again anyway.”

“Stories like ours don’t end badly, Evans.” He calls out. “Tell Marlene I said hello!”

The train pulls away before James can see Lily’s face fall.

\---

James’ hands are almost trembling when he dials her number. He has no idea why Lily Evans is still in possession of a landline, when landlines were phased out, like, seventy years ago, but it suits her. The call rings twice, thrice, and he is about to put down the phone and give up when someone picks up.

“Hello?” The unfamiliar voice asks, and he figures Lily and Marlene have a roommate, or something.

“I’m James Potter. Calling for Lily Evans? Or Marlene, even.” He taps his fingers against his thigh.

“Are you one of Marlene’s friends?” The roommate’s voice immediately goes cold. “Because you can fuck right out of Lily’s life, just like she did.”

“No”, James says truthfully, because Marlene has alway been more Sirius’ friend than his. “I’m an old friend of Lily’s. Met her on the train and was seeing if we could catch up, while I’m in town.”

“Good.” The roommate says, sounding a lot less tense now. “I’m Mary MacDonald.”

“Nice to meet you, Mary.” James says, grinning. “So, any chance I could take your hot roommate out for a drink?”

“You’ll have to ask her, James.” Mary laughs. “We’re not twelve anymore.”

“Fair enough.” James nods, laughing. “Fair enough.”

\---

“You know, James, if there’s one mistake you don’t make, it’s getting married.” Lily says, after they’ve both worked up enough of a buzz for her to be conversational and him to listen without interrupting. “Getting married’s the end of every relationship. Nothing left, after that.”

James grunts his affirmation, remembering Lily walking down the aisle to someone else. That was certainly the end of whatever he’d seen them becoming.

“You try so hard to make it work, but then… Everything disappears.” She sighs, shaking her head. “It’s too much.”

“Growing old alone with your cats, then, Evans?” He nudges her arm with his elbow, distinctly worried by how morose she looks all of a sudden.

“Stop pretending like you won’t be right there with me, Potter.” She snorts, and he knows she doesn’t mean it the way he’s taking it, but he’ll take what he can get in the way of comfort.

\---

“What’re you drawing?” She asks, after they have learned the ins and outs of each other. It’s been two weeks since the train and disastrous phone call, and James has made sure she’s spent more nights with him than that.

“Art.” James says, going back to his sketch.

“Art?” She asks, and looks over his shoulder. “That’s my face, Potter.”

“Think about it.” He winks before going back to his work, and she groans, hiding her face in her hands.

\---

“You know, I pegged you for a lot of things when we first met, but an artist wasn’t one of them.” Lily rolls her eyes. “You seemed too…”

“Douchey.” James supplies, once the pause had dragged on a couple seconds. “Entitled and douchey.”

“Exactly.” Lily laughs. “Entitled douche.”

“ _Former_ entitled douche.” James points out. “Current _pathetic_ douche.”

“Well, what can I say? You make it work.” Lily sticks her tongue out.

“So do you.” James says, and Lily is chasing him down the road in a second. Good thing he’s fast, because he’d be screwed otherwise. “Alright, Evans?” He asks, carefully approaching a doubled over and wheezing Lily, and she looks up at him, grinning wide, before sweeping an arm out to knock him off his balance.

James falls hard, just like he did all those years ago at the park, and Lily is standing over him just as she did back then.

“See”, he says, “this is all your fault.”

“You sure do keep a lot in that big head of yours.” She says fondly, extending a hand to help him up.

“It’s got to be big, to store all the important things about you.” He says, and pulls himself up.

\---

“I think I’ve found them a love story.” James says, one afternoon, when he and Lily are sitting in the grass, watching leaves blow by. “Me and You. The characters, I mean.”

“Where’d you find love?” Lily looks incredulous. “I thought you were growing old with me and my entire houseful of cats.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t find love in that.” James says, turning to her. These words have been years in the making, first coming to life in the mind of a kid barely on the older side of twenty, and now, nearly ten years later, he’s finally saying them. “Look, Lily, I really do mean it. I’ve loved you for ages and I’m really not lying. I promise.”

“I know you do.” She is suddenly closed off, and he worries that he’s lost her. “I know you do, but I can’t. Not right now. Not like this.”

“Lily, wait--” She is halfway down the street before he can scramble to his feet, and he’s learned from years and years of running that it’s pointless to chase Lily Evans when she doesn’t want to be caught.

“Stories like ours don’t end badly”, he says, catching a falling leaf between his thumb and index finger. “You’ll see.”

For once, he doesn’t believe himself.

* * *

_[Meeting Five]_

“Mr. Potter!” One of the journalists calls out, and James nods, lifting the microphone up to his mouth again. “We’ve seen what your characters, You and I, think of love, but what’s your opinion?”

“Love is a thing that some of us are lucky enough to find.” James says, after a second’s thought. “But there’s always a catch somewhere.”

“Is the book about anyone in particular?” The reporter presses, and James shrugs.

“She knows who she is, and isn’t that all that matters?” He puts the microphone down after checking his watch, confirming that the interview time was up, and shakes a couple hands before making a run for it. He’s always been an outgoing kid, but large crowds have never really been his favorite. Especially not when they want to talk about love stories and romance.

Historically, he’s not had the best luck with that.

He pulls his shoulders up slightly, bracing himself against the cold breeze, and recoils in surprise at the sound of a familiar voice.

“You know, anyone else would have just called.” He turns around to see Lily Evans, also a little older now, but still undeniably herself. “You wrote a whole book.”

“Big fuck ups deserve big apologies.” He shrugs, scratching the back of his head. “Hey. I’m about to grab something to eat. Join me?”

“Your head’s only gotten bigger since I saw you last.” She says, grabbing his hand suddenly. “Good thing our story won’t end badly. You’re going to need the space.”

“Yeah.” James says, grinning widely as he swings her hand back and forth. “Good thing.”

* * *

_[Meeting We're Not Keeping Track Anymore So Why Should You]_

“You know, I think we officially have the best looking baby in this hospital.” James says, slinging an arm around Lily’s waist. “Considering he’s half my baby and I’m me.”

“Pompous bastard.” Lily rolls her eyes, shaking her head.

“Watch your mouth, darling. There are kids about.” James says, inordinately gleeful, and Lily elbows him sharply in the kidneys. “Hey!”

The baby stretches suddenly, effectively stopping their argument, and yawns wide. He doesn’t seem particularly interested in any of the other babies around him, preferring to stare at the tube lights above him instead.

“I see glasses in his future.” Lily quips.

“Good thing you see them, because I can’t.” James deadpans, pulling her a little closer. “And, on that note, not it on diaper duty.”

His finger is at his nose before hers is, and she groans, slapping his chest as hard as she can.

“I hate you.”

“I’m not too worried.” James says, nearly twelve years older than he was the first time he'd said these words. “Our story won’t end badly.”

“Yeah.” Lily smiles. “It won’t.”

 


End file.
